Constant Rain
More random rants, thoughts, and impromptu storiesArchive for July, 2008
My best friend Constant
I must make this brief, as I have a lot of work to do, and I’m really messing around. I was talking to J about this last night, and I have to open the issue up to all of you. Do you still use the term “best friend”? I consider a few special people among my closest, most cherished friends, those whom I’ve known for a long time, and basically love them like family, well what I think “family love” should be like. I’m not so sure I love all of my family members in that same way, because when you have a really large one there are lots of folks thrown up in there that you really don’t know and some that you might not like so hot. However, getting back to the point, among those people are J- my lovely, artistic friend who I just adore, N- my “tell it like it is, but still such a sweet person friend,” the original Roommie- my “I don’t know where the heck she is” friend but I’m sure wherever it is it involves lots of work, my current roommie, my new friend Celeste who must be the sweetest person I know, “Special Order”- who is the sister I never had.. and….. I don’t know maybe one or two more people. LOL I’m so wack, the point is, IT DOES NOT include this dude that was IMing me yesterday about some issue and was like, blah blah blah, “… not like my BEST FRIEND CONSTANT”. I was like hmph?? Who me??? That’s real awkward! First of all, *I* stopped using the term “best friend” in, oh, middle school, and at the time it was pretty much an agreed, mutual relationship. There might even have been some dialog for clarification like, “We’re best friends? Cool.” Maybe I had a boyfriend or two in the past who I considered my best friend, but even then I don’t think we communicated that to each other. lol But yeah I guess I didn’t know I was HIS best friend! He’s not mine though! I have to admit that I feel kind of like a jerk now! Maybe he meant “ONE” of his best friends, like you’d say my cousin Robin, but even then it still isn’t reciprocated!
What do you think? Has that ever happened to you? Have you been someone’s best friend and didn’t know, or was someone your best friend that didn’t reciprocate the… honor? Is it an honor?!? OH lawdy…
What’s in a name?
After reading this article, I am wondering about a few things. I don’t have children and therefore have no experience choosing a name for a being. I didn’t even name my cat! She was an adult, answered by her old name and I found no reason to change it. While I really feel like you must be high or something to choose a name like “Fish and Chips” (see the article) for someone’s name, how DO you select a fitting name, something a person will be called for a good deal of one’s life?? I don’t know if my grandparents on my father’s side just drew a blank after the 14th child, but my dad didn’t have a name until he named himself at age 18! In their defense, he was born premature in the 1940s, delivered by a midwife (not to offend any in this important profession) and was never taken to a hospital. He weighted less than 2 pounds, and at the time, it was nearly guaranteed that a child that small would not survive. So they skipped the naming process (i mean he was going to die anyway, why waste a perfectly good name???) and low and behold, the little dude survived… nameless. They had all sorts of nicknames for him, but the most salient one was “Tad,” later adapted to “Ted” because that sounds better. They called him Tad though because he was little like a tadpole.. Got to give it to them for being original. I have to wonder if not having a name had a lasting impact on him. Until he was 18 years old, his birth certificate just said (enter grandfather’s name)’s son! I guess he can be happy that they didn’t name him Tad or Tadpole, since that’s what it was short for!
Legend has it that my mom (before she named me Constant Rain, of course) almost named me after a light fixture! She thought it was pretty, the name- that is (or maybe the fixture? I’m not sure). Fortunately someone talked her into Constant Rain, and I didn’t have to get teased all of the days of my life, or at least while I was in elementary through high school. 
Do you have any interesting name stories that you’d like to share?
Thoughts of Brown
The days are long, but I am very busy and moderately productive. I have a new job that I love, and the best thing is that I’m relaxed and being myself– everywhere. I don’t worry about what anyone thinks about my moral character or that no one distrusts me. Everyone gets a handful of the quirky, sassy woman who loves to laugh and enjoys lighthearted banter with everyone, anyone. I play with children some mornings and they are so much fun with all of their simplicity and energy. No more headaches, no more dreams. I passed my comprehensive exams and have officially moved on to phase 2 of this PhD thing. Every day I look forward to calling you to tell you about the day and to share that with you when I remember that you are not there. I try not to be sad about that fact but some days my emotions overwhelm me. Things are what they are, and I accept that. I just wonder when it will get easier. It is painful but I do know someone who understands it and is bringing me through it all. See you on the other side.
FAIL
At my first class this morning, which was great, by the way, I was thinking about blogging. I didn’t know what I was going to talk about but I knew I was going to blog about something. Then I left the class and while driving down the street, impulsively turned into a Popeyes chicken (I told y’all long ago it was like crack). I decided to order their new Buffalo nuggets (which I hated, by the way– I guess it has been so long since I’ve had fried chicken, believe it or not, and it was way too salty!). I figured since I had a distance to drive, I would get something that I could eat along the way. Unfortunately, after ordering, it was conveyed that I had ordered a “special order item”, i.e., those which require you to pull over to the side because they don’t have any made. I quickly backed into a parking spot, and was sitting thinking about all sorts of things that make me sad, when another car pulled in beside me. Because it was hot, my windows were down, and I realized that the person next to me is leaning out of the car, and he says, “Are we having lunch together today?”
Mildly amused at this display of randomness, I replied, “I guess so?”
He says, “Hi. My name is Danny.”
“Um.. I’m Constant.”
He asks, “So what are you having?” I figured he was also waiting for his food and was irritated about it and wanted to chat. No big deal.
C: “Oh I decided to try the nuggets. You?”
H: “I got 4 pieces of chicken.”
C: “What, don’t they have ANY chicken done in there???” I notice he looks puzzled by my question, and I realize that he wasn’t waiting. So I add, “Oh, I don’t have my food yet. I am waiting for them to bring it out to me.”
He says, “Oh, yeah, I have mine. So are you on your lunch break?”
Really?? Mildly annoyed by the direction this conversation is going, I say, “Yeah.”
H: “Where do you work?”
C: “Oh I work in Baltimore at the hospital, but I was just here for training and I have to get back real quick.”
H: “Ok, ok.” (pause… smiles) “Well Constant, I don’t see any rings on your fingers!”
I didn’t even realize that my fingers were in view, but they were still on the steering wheel. I started laughing at him and said, “Dang Danny, why are you all up in my fingers!”
He responds, “Well, can we meet at another time? Maybe dinner? OOh, we can go anywhere you like, what do you like? Crab? Italian? Chinese?”
At this point, I couldn’t contain the urge to laugh. In my head I was thinking, No, I really don’t want to interact with men on any level right now, but thanks for the effort. I think Chinese just tipped me off the edge because once again, I had been stung by stupid. But it gets better…
Before I could respond about the telephone number, because at the time I was looking down, formulating my answer, I saw in my peripheral view that he had gotten his phone out to get the number. I looked up and was about to say something, and realized that he was adjusting the camera to take a picture. As I hear the click, I had the “WTF???” look on my face.
C: “OH my God, I can’t believe you did that!” He starts laughing, and I fell out on the steering wheel in disbelief of this ridiculous display of foolishness. Fortunately the woman came with my food, I gave him the best fake number I could come up with and drove off… QUICKLY.
FAIL FAIL FAIL!!!
NOTE: SOON TO COME-”The many meanings of FAIL”
Who me???
I am going to resist the urge of writing a post that sounds sad or like a rant. I had to tell you that because it is real tough since I use this as an outlet for that kind of mess. But I’ve decided that I will try to show a balanced view of me so that you know that I’m not all rain. Also, I’m listening to Christmas songs in July and how could you complain while listening to wonderfully calming Christmas song??? Ooh, Did I tell you that when I’m on turbulent flights (like the last one I was on a little over a week ago, good googly moogly) I turn on Christmas songs on my ipod and I find it quite relaxing. It works every time.
Please don’t ask why I’m listening to them now. I don’t have a reason other than me liking them. I’m listening to the Take 6 Christmas album and that’s hardly like traditional Christmas songs!).
Anyway, now that my random introduction is over, I have great news! I started a new job today! I’m so excited about it and I wish I could tell my Elli about it, but I will tell you instead. A couple of months ago I applied for a summer job with a neighboring university because 2 jobs weren’t enough. Three is much better. I don’t know if you can really count my personal business since I was not active the last quarter of the school year. However, I’m back in business, and if you’re bursting with curiosity, email me at constantrain01@yahoo.com, and I’ll tell you all about it! The first job was as a research assistant for an adolescent sexual health study at the university hospital. I am continuing that activity along with the newest, which is finally something more in line with my career interests. It’s a great health education study involving mothers of toddlers, and I’ll be helping to lead the sessions. The study is so interesting and I’m delighted to be part of what appears to be a fantastic team. I got such a warm welcome that in my head I was sounding like Brown (who me??). Anyway, I am excited to be working on something that truly excites me as it makes me feel like I’m on the right track.
I just don’t get it!
For the last few days, I’ve been getting hits to my blog from people googling “Justin Timberlake Naked”! I have no idea why but there are no naked JT pictures here LOL. That’s really funny though.
In the news:
Now this isn’t news worthy, per se but I found it interesting enough. My mom calls me yesterday, knowing how much I love these things, and says, “HEY! CR (you know she calls me that LOL)! Did you hear this?” First of all, she wasn’t talking about the 17.5% sales tax and I wanted to know why THAT wasn’t the cause for alarm instead of the lack of potato in the “crisps”. I did NOT know that in fact, but as I learn more about food substances I find that we eat a lot less “food” than we think. Or as least *I* think, as I can only speak for myself.
On that note, I think I’m going to go have some.. whatever they are.
Thoughts
I couldn’t think of anything random to talk about today. And really, today is just like any other day. It starts on a pretty high note, ending pretty low. This is really hard but everything is going to be just fine.
Comments off
A new season in the hood
I’m blogging a little more frequently because I guess, as when I started, it is serving as sort of an outlet for me. I have a little extra time since it is summer time and thought I would return to the blog world.
Usually if I am blogging frequently I have something on my mind and I am using this as a distraction. I don’t want to discuss those issues in detail or anything but it’s just a hard time. So, thanks for listening, and let the randomness commence.
THINGS I HATE ABOUT LIVING IN THE HOOD
I’m not sure I mentioned it or not, but I told you that I moved from Atlanta to some east coast city last year. While I’d like to say that I have no problems with living in the hood, and I might just say that 80% of the time, this is not that time at all. I’m real annoyed tonight because I was trying to have a moment, do some reading, relax, enjoy my crunchy, fruity salad again (which was so delicious), and there is just so much going on outside. So in honor of my very “hood” surroundings, I would like to explain to you why I’m about to go outside and slap someone, anyone, right now (which would totally defeat that reading I was talking about a few minutes ago lol).
1. Noise (DUH?) This is clearly why I’m writing this post in the first place. If it wasn’t so blasted noisy, I would be reading and relaxing and not venting online. The noise comes in categories:
- Cars. I live on a fairly busy street, and there is a traffic light right outside. Unfortunately, every time it turns red, I can hear one verse of SOMEONE’S music blasting from their car. My thing is, your music in your car never has to be that loud, ever. EVER!
- Bus. There is also a bus stop outside, and if the house wasn’t so old, I probably wouldn’t complain about the fact that I hear air brakes every 10 minutes. But it’s real annoying when seeking peace and quiet, or at 3am when you’re too hot to sleep upstairs in your bed, and you’re sleeping on the couch because it’s cooler down there.
- Visitors. Not MY visitors. I have no visitors. lol However, the neighbor is “popular” and has lots of visitors although he lives alone. AND i know he lives alone because he often chats up these visitors for a while in front of the house, loudly. I told you we might as well not even have a front wall to the house because you can hear everything outside as if they are in the living room. This doesn’t usually bother me until, oh, 12 am or so. What in the heck kind of visitors do you get at 1am…
2. Shady business. (nuff said) lol
3. Drug paraphernalia. I don’t appreciate it being ok to leave used drug paraphernalia on our stoop (yes, I said stoop!). We’ll open the door and see all kinds of surprises in front of our door.
4. Trash. Why must there always be SO much trash all over the place in the hood? I just don’t get it at all. Why don’t we throw stuff in trash cans??? You can drive 4 blocks over though and it’s all pristine. The demographic interestingly enough also changes. I’m not blaming the trash on the demographic, I’m just making an observation. I ran into a dude at the gas station (the trash picker upper– I’m sure that’s not what he calls himself, but that’s what he does), and he was fired up about how messy it was and how it is like that every morning when he comes over there. My thing is that it’s job security for him, but he went on a black folks don’t keep up anything rant and I was just trying to get some gas.
5. Celebrations lol We’ve had fireworks going off (or firework-like noises…) every night since Memorial Day. I’d like it to stop. Now.
6. Fires. Why is there always a fire on my street or around the corner??? I just don’t get that. Fortunately the fire department is also a block away so that’s nice.
7. The woman with the bad grill. I admit that I’m wrong for bringing her up but I have to mention her because as you are approaching the block (in the car) you have to watch out for her so that you don’t hit her. She will intentionally walk out in front of your car and do a Coming to America-ish “HALT!” in front of your car. Once you stop, she will proceed to walk up to your window and start knocking and talking to you. The first time she did that I stopped (of course, well I stop each time because I don’t want to run anyone over), but I was real puzzled, and my window was already down. I was like, oh God is this a jack?!? Fortunately it wasn’t, but I keep the windows up now lol
8. Folks who talk to people who are all the way down the street. YOU SHOULD NEVER (EVER?) yell to someone down the street like you’re sitting next to them, and proceed to have an entire conversation. Walk your lazy booty down there and have the conversation! Didn’t I just say that the walls are essentially nonexistent?? I don’t want to hear everything you have to say today. Really I don’t care about what the heck you’re talking about and in fact, I don’t appreciate that you’ve woken me up with your foolishness!
*breathing*
9. In line with #8, I also hate when people yell from 2nd and 3rd floors down to someone down the street. GO downstairs or get a phone. DO something! AH!
10. WHY IS THERE ALWAYS a fight going on outside??? I am resting peacefully in my bed when I hear someone scream, and it’s usually a girl– because the men on my block don’t fight, they “celebrate”– then some ridiculous foolishness commences. It is usually followed by someone screaming for them to shut up (from their 3rd floor window), and someone yelling to someone down the street. Then someone with loud music stops, and gets out of their car. Then the cops come with sirens blaring, and people scamper, running and yelling every whichaway down the street… Then the bus passes.
My “me” moment for today
After spending the 4th on the couch starring at the TV all day watching mindless shows (with a brief visit to the grocery store), I decided to stay on the “up and up” today by doing some yard work and cooking. We don’t have bushes, grass or trees, but we have huge weeds some of which are over 5 feet tall growing in the back yard. Mind you, I went to Atlanta for a couple of weeks in June, and when I left, that backyard didn’t look like that at all but was surprised by the mess when I returned. Since the backyard doubles as a toilet that never gets flushed, I feel that it isn’t my responsibility to go out and de-weed the place, since you might step on some poop in the process. Moreover, I feel like the owner of the dog who poops in the backyard should actually clean up that poop from time to time. However, today I felt like making my physical activity “count” so I went out to battle the mess. AND a mess it was! I never finished, but after an attempt that lasted about an hour, I decided to make a delicious salad with spinach, iceberg, red grapes, apples, almonds, bacon bits, and some tangy raspberry pecan dressing. I’m telling you this because I really enjoyed it. AND although my hands were shaking from the clipper for like 30 minutes, I am more hopeful of not being fined for a housing violation (well, my landlord may not get fined, those bums), and that the dog won’t be devoured by the mess…
Belated happy birthday, CR
Another down, only God knows how many remaining. Not that I intend to give the impression that I’m counting down, but it’s always a nice thing to celebrate being blessed with making it to another complete year of life, especially if it is tough. lol I was thinking about how tough I sometimes think life is when I started reading this article about Betancourt and decided that it isn’t so bad after all. Sometimes you just need a little perspective.
Anyway, I spent my 30th birthday with four of my favorite friends (well 3 and a husband, but I include him too because he’s like a distant cousin or something too). My friends knowing that I was weighted down with issues going on in my life, successfully kept me from “raining” most of the day. I was so thankful for them. I called one early in the morning on Saturday, went over her house and basically ran errands with her to get ready for our mini party. Her husband had just gotten a new barbecue grill for father’s day and had tons of grilling questions. Since I come from the family who grills in the snow and am also the same person who will almost run off of the road when I smell some good grilled food while driving, his new grilling experience was the perfect activity to keep me from thinking about my own issues. Plus, you know how I love food. We had a nice dinner.
I wanted to start this new year with a short list of things I want to keep in mind and I thought I would share them with you.
1. I am so incredibly blessed. With everything that happens, it is important to remember that, and I am so thankful. Things could always be different and it is important to keep that in mind because it will change the way you think about your own circumstances.
2. I have decided that it is my birthday for the next month. I’m not sure what that entails, lol, but I like the way it sounds and it makes me smile.
3. I’m trying to do a little something to celebrate myself every day. I know someone who might think that may be selfish, but I really don’t care. I spend way too much time stressing and worrying and that’s something I’d like to do less. So, today I had a strawberry cupcake and just enjoyed the delicious flavors. Sometimes you just have to keep it simple and take a moment to just relax and enjoy a cupcake. lol Tomorrow I think my moment will include the continuation of my new (for the 30 year old) exercise regimen to combat my sudden weight gain from, oh the last 2 weeks. I’ll be working that crap off for months! Ugh.
4. In fact, I think my last comment is worthy of being it’s own idea. Right now, exercise is a good way for me to relax, plus that extra 10 has to go. I’m not buying anymore clothes. For the last couple of days it has only involved walking, mostly because I’m horribly out of shape but I plan to step it up over the next couple of weeks.
5. Despite the fact that I had that wonderful strawberry cupcake today, I am going to watch my intake a little more closely. I am not going on a strict diet, but am just going to cook, increase vegetable intake, and other things I usually do but for some reason didn’t do for the months of May and June.
6. I think I’m going to take the dog for more walks. lol I’m sure you’re asking me why, especially since I almost loathe him. Don’t tell anyone, but I kind of like him. He’s annoying, yes, but he’s much less annoying if you take him out more, so I think I’ll do that. We have all sorts of little parks in the area, and since we’ll only be living together for 1.5 more months (THANK THE LORD!!!), I will make him and me as happy as possible for that time.
7. I’m going to try to be a better friend. I haven’t been a very good one to a lot of important people in my life, and that sucks.
8. I’m trying to make this year be a very productive one. I have a bunch of things I need to do including
- Work on my business
- Finish an analysis that I haven’t had a chance to do
- Or two… Ugh
- Or three (I’m so behind)
- Start a new project over at a nearby university (I’m really excited about this)
- Write a proposal for a research project that will fund me (another new project)
(and there is July and August in a nutshell)
9. I’m going to do a better job of enjoying the ride
10. I do not have to work to prove myself to people. I have been trying to do that for a long time, and it just needs to stop. You really can’t do anything to change what people think, and I accept that. I think I’m pretty ok (despite the fact that I just said I was a lousy friend sometimes), not perfect, can definitely improve, will certainly continue to try to do that, but at the same time I refuse to be paranoid about what everyone else thinks of me when only 1 opinion really matters.
~CR
